I wrote the story below almost two years ago. I felt this story could make more of an impact, but when trying to figure out where to go from the last paragraph, I was stuck. At the time, I was leaning toward “never feeling good enough and losing the ability to be yourself”, or “being grateful for the opportunity in front of you.” But now, after about over two months of life during a pandemic, this story has delivered a whole new meaning.
"The year was 1999. I was wrestling in the state semi-finals at heavyweight. I had just beat my opponent 3-2 to qualify for the finals. In my eyes, I didn't wrestle well. I didn’t create enough offense. My opponent was in the match all the way to the end. Although happy to be in the finals, I was disappointed overall.
As you can imagine, I was showered with compliments. I remained silent for most of them. I didn’t deserve them. Why would you congratulate a person who truly should have wrestled better? I should have been getting yelled at...severely.
I remember finding my coach downstairs in the warm up area. He was one of my harsher critics. “Surely,” I remember thinking, “He’s going to let me have it (scold me) now.” He looked at me with the widest smile I’ve ever seen from him. He shook my hand and said some very improbable words. “Son, you wrestled one hell of a match!” I quickly replied, “He shouldn’t have been in the match. My offense should have been better.” He continued to smile at me. I looked away with disgust. I started putting my warm-ups back on. My coach then slapped me on the shoulder as he loudly yelled, “Hey!” to get my attention. As I turned towards him, he stood very tall with a stoic look on his face. I don’t remember the exact words, but it went something like this, “This is a pretty big stage to be on Schue (nickname). You got the job done. You dominated that match. It doesn’t matter what the score was.” I nodded at him in agreement. He stepped closer to me and put his hand on my back shoulder. He very genuinely spoke his last words to me of the night before walking off. “Enjoy and appreciate where you are right now. You have a whole cheering section upstairs waiting to see you.”
As I cleaned up, I soon realized what he was talking about. I was in the state finals in a very prestigious wrestling state--Iowa. Many wrestlers and non-wrestlers would kill to be in my position. Walking around upset with myself during this moment in my life would have been a huge regret. I went upstairs full of pride for what I had accomplished and a big smile on my face. Although it was still hard to take a compliment, I at least said “thank you” and smiled at each of them. "
I remember my senior year being one of the most disciplined and motivational parts of my life. I remember the extra conditioning before school and after practice. I remember driving to nearby towns on the weekends to get extra practices. I remember being motivated towards one goal and that was to be a state champion. I can’t imagine getting the opportunity taken away.
All that work.
All that sacrifice.
All that excitement.
All taken away.
Seniors, I empathize with you. This would obviously be hard to take. I would be hurting too. Now being a parent, I can’t imagine having to watch my boys go through such heartbreak. This being said, please take this advice with the idea in mind “I am here to help you progress in life”. Sometimes, help doesn’t sound or feel like help at first, but later on you will learn the motive. Here it is. If you haven’t already done so, get off your pity party. Stop hanging your head and start moving forward. Let’s get going. The world needs you.
There is an old quote I like to use in situations where life, by no fault of their own, took a downward turn (in this case, a spiral). “This is not your fault, but it is your problem.” This is not fair to you. Not even close, but life is not fair sometimes. How you respond to these trials and tribulations are what will define your character, positively or negatively,
Being negative is a natural way to feel in this situation. Yes, you didn’t get to finish your senior year. Yes, you did get some of your glory days taken away from you. Yes, these are memories you can’t get back. Those are just some of the negative facts. You have the right to be sad about this. You have the right to grieve. You have the right to be mad.
You also have the right to be happy again. You have that right too.
This part can be particularly hard to envision, but in ANY event or situation in life, there is ALWAYS a positive side. Sometimes it is so minute (or obvious) you really have to dig down deep to find it, but it’s there. Here are a couple of examples. You could still have your health, loved ones, shelter, food, PHONE, pet, car, ect. Yes, these are some of the basics, but they are essential to your life. Yes, this could be worse.
How about this. You’re generation has been stereotyped for being entitled and taking the easy way out in life. As I see it, nobody is getting what they want right now. This is the first experience of a pandemic for all generations. We are all learning as we go forward with the hope to make a brighter future for all. Otherwise, we are all on equal ground and every person has unique talents and ideas to help. You have the opportunity to fight through your struggle and disappointment, build a strong, positive character through your choices at such a young adult age, and then lessen the stereotype.
So, how does a person get started working towards the positive? How do you know what the positive is? Nobody can answer those questions but you, but here’s some help. My family roped me into watching a children’s movie, Frozen 2, at the start of the pandemic. I normally don’t get much out of these shows, but a simple, life-altering quote really caught my attention. Pabbie, an old, wise troll, trying to warn Anna and Elsa of harm that could be coming to their city of Arendelle, quoted this advice, “When one can see no future, all one can do is the next right thing.” That’s it. What is the first positive, right step for you? Figure this out and get started. Don’t worry about steps two, three, four. They will develop as you go. The key is getting started.
I have high hopes for the Class of 2020. At a young age, you have a great opportunity to respond positively in a time of great hardship.This lesson, if learned, will be invaluable as you grow older. If I could requote my wrestling coach, “this is a pretty big stage” we're all on right now. Many times I’ve had that feeling we are living through a real life history lesson. This is nobody’s fault, but it is all of our problem to solve. Please, appreciate where you’re at right now because every season of life serves a purpose. A brighter future is ahead of us, as long as we are always looking to do the next right thing.
“You don’t drown by falling into water. You drown by staying there.”
Edwin Louis Cole
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